My Neighbor's Brother's Wife's Sister's Daughter's Wedding.

Last night my roommates and I were abruptly invited to a wedding by our next-door-neighbor, Malika. Of course, we said yes, we'd been whining about wanting to see a Tunisian wedding for the past two weeks. As I expected, it was a truly memorable and interesting experience.

First of all, I know you are going to want an explanation about my outfit, which you will see in pictures below. As soon as Malika and Souad heard that we were going to the wedding they announced that they would get some of Malika's daughter's dresses for us to wear. I was instantly relieved. I had no idea what Tunisians wore to weddings, I didn't want to wear something that was inappropriate. I was also excited because I assumed that this would mean that I'd get to wear some sort of exciting native Tunisian outfit. Wrong. I ended up in a skin tight mid-90s black dress that fell to my ankles. With sparkles. All over. I'm not really a sparkles kind of girl, but Souad and Malika oohed and ahhed over how pretty I was so I just let it go. Alissa got away with her own outfit and Megan ended up in a Chinese-inspired dress which was pretty cute on her. She felt a little uncomfortable because it was shorter than dresses most Tunisians would wear in public, but at least she didn't look like Miss America.


We started off the night at 9pm at the bride's home. The bride and groom met in Germany, where they both live. The groom has a Ph.D. in something and the bride is a Ph.D. candidate in Archeology. Since they are both Tunisian they are home for their wedding. When we walked to into the bride's home the men were all outdoors on the deck and the women were in the livingroom. We could hear music blasting in the living room and women trilling ululations. Malika opened the door and ululated at the woman in front of her who echoed back. These random outbreaks of ululations continued sporadically all night and are apparently a wedding tradition in Tunisia. Inside the room a CD of music was playing and women were dancing or sitting on couches as the bride sat in the center of the room with her dress spread out about her.

As the women danced Malika explained that the music that was being played was traditional Tunisian Jewish Bedouin wedding music, played at absolutely every wedding. Tunisia has been a melting pot of religions and cultures throughout its history and is extremely proud to say that it is one country where Jews and Muslims live side by side and even share some common traditions. I was forced off the couch to dance in front of the crowd. A very uncomfortable moment to say the least. I danced with one other woman, copying everything that she did and hoping that I didn't look like that much of an idiot. Maybe if I wasn't wearing a skin tight sparkly black dress I would have had a bit more confidence.

After a decent amount of dancing we headed out to the wedding hall. It was then that Malika learned that the groom was an Islamist and did not want to have a typical Tunisian wedding. Tunisian weddings are apparently very westernized... I wouldn't know, as this wedding was certainly not the norm. The groom prefered to have a traditional wedding where men celebrate in one room and women in the other. Malika explained that this was very unusual, she had never been to a wedding like this. Separating the bride and grrom is apparently the norm in other Muslim countries around the Middle East, just not in liberal Tunisa.


True to what Malika told us, once we got to the wedding hall the men went into one hall and the women went into the other. The groom helped the bride settle onto some sort of Greek inspired chaise lounge and left. An orchestra of women began to play and women began to dance. Of course, we were forced to dance. It was actually quite fun once we got into it, but I felt a little too awkward and uncomfortable to really let go.

After we danced a bit, the drinks and pasteries began to come. As we sipped our drinks we discussed Malika's heritage, Tunisia, weddings, and everything in between by writing notes on napkins. The music in the room was turned up very loud which made it difficult to hear each other. We waited and waited for the groom to come. Malika said that he certainly had to come and at least put a ring on the bride's finger... but he never did. That was it. The bride sat on her chair, danced a bit, and smiled a lot. No ceremony, no speeches, no groom. It was certainly quite different from any wedding I've been to. For me, a wedding focuses on the couple, not the bride and groom separately. My roommates and I felt that it was a little sad... the bride up there all alone, sitting and watching the crowd. To each her own. It was great experience and really a very good time.


This is Malika and I at our table.